Last Thoughts on the Last Bit of My Last Pregnancy

Today is my due date for little Lovebug.  That seems

Completely. Surreal.  

You would think with being my third pregnancy, this wouldn't be that big of a deal.  Been there, done that, x3.  But it still seems 

Completely. Surreal.  

I really feel like I should have about a month left.  Sometimes it doesn't seem like I'm having a baby at all.  I wonder/think it might be because a) we don't know the gender this time and b) we don't have a name picked out yet.  With the other two, we had both and I was already envisioning what this Heidi person and Jonah person was going to be like.  What their little personalities were going to be like.  I was ready to meet the essence of who Heidi and Jonah were.  This little guy or gal is still too unknown.  A very loved and wanted unknown, but still such a mystery!  I'm just SOOO ready for this little sweet child to be put into my arms so that I can start bonding and loving and kissing and getting to know him/her!!!

Thankfully, the unknowing part is almost over!  I had a doctor appointment last Wednesday where I found out that my doctor is going to be gone from this Wednesday night till Sunday sometime.  He would only let me go one week overdue so the options he gave me were to wait till Monday the 17th, when he would be back in the office (and just PRAY that the baby doesn't come while he's gone) or he said I could go in this coming Tuesday, the 11th, and try to get things started that morning.  I'm in the same situation this time that I was in with Jonah: since Heidi was a c-section, I no longer have the option of being officially "induced" but there are some things that the doctor can do to try to get my body to go into labor.  So it came down to, would I be okay if it was another doctor there and not mine?  Would that other doctor be willing to follow our plan of trying for a VBAC?   Or would I be upset if I rushed things by going in on Tuesday, but then risk that my body wouldn't be ready and end up with a c-section?  What to do, what to do???

Thankfully, the decision was made very clear for me (thanks, God!!).  When I called up to see who would be on call while my doctor was gone, I found out that it was going to be the ONE doctor on the team who does NOT allow VBACs.  He goes straight for the c-section if you've already had one.  So then it became, if I go on Tues, I'll at least have a chance to try for a vag delivery and if I did have a c-section, then at least I'll have my own doctor there doing it.  Otherwise, I could only fervently pray that I would make it to the next Monday but by then I'll be very overdue. More than likely, I wouldn't make it and would end up with the other doctor.

So Tuesday it is!!  Nathan and I go up to labor and delivery at 8:30am and my doctor will break my water to try to get my body to go in to labor.  Not sure how long he'll wait until he decides it isn't working but at my appt, he was very optimistic about my body cooperating since it had previously worked with Jonah.  And since he is on-call Tues night, he'll be with me all night so hopefully that means he won't be in any rush.  

I'm anxious, nervous, super excited, scared, and more, all rolled into one.  It just seems so sudden!  While this pregnancy has definitely been the hardest on my body, these last few weeks I've been feeling really good and really not so pregnant.  I think it's because the weather has dropped and that helps so much!  Either way, I've suddenly realized that this is the last bit of my last pregnancy and I really need to try to savor everything I love about being pregnant.  There's plenty that I don't love so much about being pregnant, especially how it has impacted my time and energy and abilities to play and take care of Heidi and Jonah, but oh so much more that I love!  First of all, the fact that I AM growing another child!  I also love feeling the baby move all over, I love that special feeling of knowing that God is using my body to perform a miracle, I love knowing that I'm about to be a mommy again, I love the secret bond I get to have from the very beginning with this child, I love that our family is growing, I love that Heidi and Jonah will be getting another sibling, I'll even admit to loving the attention that I get from other people about being pregnant mostly because I'm so proud of my new little baby.  I also realize and am so incredibly grateful that getting and staying pregnant has never been an issue.  I try so very hard not to take that for granted.  

As far as Heidi and Jonah go, they are super excited about the baby coming!  I've told Heidi and showed her on the calendar about Tuesday and when it is but she still thinks its going to be forever until little Lovebug is born.  I know she is going to be such a big help when the baby gets here.  I think I've said before how surprised I was with Jonah's reaction to his baby cousin, Clark.  I couldn't believe how gentle and loving he was and that he was wanting to hold him a lot.  Hopefully, he'll be like that with his own sibling!

I am feeling a little anxious about how this new little one is going to fit in with Heidi and Jonah.  We've got a nice little routine going right now and they play together so well.  I remember when I was just about to have Jonah, I was commenting on how peaceful things were with just me, Nathan and Heidi and how adding another child to the mix would change that.  At least at that time, I did acknowledge that when it was time to add child #3, I would probably be saying the same thing about how peaceful it is with just the four of us!  I kinda am saying that!  So that gives me great hope and comfort that things will work out just fine! ;o)  Plus, I keep telling myself that going from 2 kids to 3 will be SO much easier than 1 to 2.  I think Heidi kind of went into shock when she went from having lots of playmates at daycare to only me and not even all of me since I was focused on a baby Jonah. This time around, Heidi and Jonah are great playmates and keep each occupied wonderfully.  They have really been pretty easy on me these last couple of months.   And when Jonah was born, I was new at being a stay-at-home mommy and Heidi and I didn't yet have a routine established so when we added Jonah to the mix, things really got kinda crazy there for a while.  This time I have two years of working a routine under my belt. :o)

Ready or not, Tuesday will be here in 3 days.  But I think I'm ready.  Ready to hold and love and get to know this little Lovebug.  Ready to introduce Heidi and Jonah to their newest sibling and Lovebug to his/her fantastic big sister and big brother. Ready to watch Nathan beam and melt when he holds his youngest child for the first time.  Ready to start our new adventure of being a family of 5!

We would greatly appreciate prayers for this newest transition and that at the end of it all, whether VBAC or c-section, the outcome is a healthy baby, a healthy mama, and a new happy family!! :o)

Where to Begin...

Welcome to our new blog!! If you've been reading the old blog, you know that I had to start this new one since I filled the other one up with pictures that were too ginormous {{lesson learned}} and now I can't load any more.  You would also know that, besides the daily blog, I haven't post any pictures since, um, December!! So sad.  So very, very sad.  This is my version of scrapbooking my kids' lives and I've already missed half a year! We will definitely be doing a ton of catching-up!!

The first thing we want to catch you up on is the news of Baby #3!! Also known as "Lovebug", this sweet little blessing is due to arrive sometime around the beginning of October.  Which means I'm already almost 8 months pregnant.  Which means poor poor Lovebug has not been documented much at all.  But! I'm going to try my best to fix that. First, here are some pictures of our littlest one:

Baby at 12 weeks

Baby at 26 weeks

Baby at 26 weeks

And for those frequently asked questions:

• No, we are not going to find out if Lovebug is a boy or girl.  We found out with both Heidi {its a girl! so fun picking out baby girl stuff!} and Jonah {its a boy! so fun picking out baby boy stuff!}.  So now that we have everything pink and blue that we need, we thought this time it would be fun to wait until little Lovebug is born!  I admit, its been really hard waiting.  At our last ultrasound, the tech actually took a gender picture and put it into a sealed envelope for us to take home for the baby book.  Its a padded envelope so I can't even cheat by holding it up to the light!! =D 
• The kids are as excited as their ages can understand.  Heidi wants it to be a girl so badly so we've been talking to her and preparing her for the chance that it might be a baby brother.  She seems to be ok with that possibility but I think she is still holding out hope that it is a baby sister.  Heidi is actually the one whocame up with the name Lovebug.  My sister just had a baby and they called it Doodlebug while she was pregnant so I'm pretty sure Heidi got the idea from that.  Jonah is too young to know what is going on other than he knows he has to be gentle with mommy's tummy.  He does like to give kisses to my belly and if you ask him where mommy's baby is he points to it.  And if he sees Heidi talking to and loving on my belly than he wants to do that too.  But I think that's mainly him wanting to do everything big sister does. :)
• We do not have names picked out yet.  I'm getting a little stressed about that.  We had a hard time picking out Jonah's name, too, and now instead of just one name, we have to come up with two!! 
• This will more than likely be our last baby.  My body hasn't had as easy a time with this pregnancy as my other two, so I think considering I'm pregnant every other year, its time to give my body a break. ;)  Plus, we've always said we wanted three, and this time, unlike with Heidi or Jonah, I have a sense of "done-ness".  Its a good, satisfied feeling.  Of course, God may have other plans and that would be just fine too!

So that's it for now.  Hopefully I can get back into the habit of blogging regularly again but until my next post, you can visit our daily blog at Third Time's the Charm.